Blog @ directedfocus

Can Bob build a business? Yes he can!

I watched a Bob the Builder video the other day, with a friend's small son, and realised that he's more than your average tradesman.

Like many children’s entertainment figures he has more than one message and for different groups. If you haven't seen him at work then its well worth the time watching what he does.

• His phone is always answered with a bright and breezy welcome
• He knows his clients and communicates with care and kindness.
• He delivers on his promises and never leaves a job unfinished.
• He embraces challenge and greets each day with a friendly smile.
• Bob knows what works and he sticks with it.
• He tackles every new assignment with gusto, as if it were his first.

Just watch him.

So why are we talking about a children's TV hero?

Okay, whatever you're doing, just stop for a few moments and ponder this:

What have you stopped doing in your business that used to work well?

In particular, think about actions to do with:

• customer contact and relationship building
• marketing
• accepting new challenges
• communication with those around you

Often in business we get out of the habit of doing the basic things that initially motivated us, the very things that made our business of appeal to others, especially if we work alone.

Consider someone who very clearly loves his or her business (Bob the Builder, for example) and look closely at what is done as a matter of course. Positive actions have become habits; they are now a part of the business.

People, such as Bob, also approach life with energy and vigour. They think more clearly, more positively. They approach the world with more brightness. Well …. don't they?

Our business also deserves a 'fitness focus' as do each of us from time to time and the consequence can be an increase in that magical stuff that makes our business attractive.

So, as we continue on in our busiless life, look back at your activity last year and ponder again:

• What have I stopped doing that works?
• What actions need to become habits and how will I make sure they do?
• For my business to be fit & healthy what regimes need to be (re)introduced?

Are you a genius with 1,000 helpers ?

Does this strike a chord with you or someone you know ?

In contrast to the good-to-great companies, which built deep and strong executive teams, many of the comparison companies followed a ?genius with a thousand helpers? model. In this model, the company is a platform for the talents of an extraordinary individual. In these cases, the towering genius, the primary driving force in the company?s success, is a great asset?as long as the genius sticks around.

The geniuses seldom build great management teams, for the simple reason that they don?t need one, and often don?t want one. If you?re a genius, you don?t need a Wells Fargo?caliber management team of people who could run their own shows elsewhere. No, you just need an army of good soldiers who can help implement your great ideas. However, when the genius leaves, the helpers are often lost. Or, worse, they try to mimic their predecessor with bold, visionary moves (trying to act like a genius, without being a genius) that prove unsuccessful.

The ideas behind this insight and many more relating to what is a great compnay and some insights into building a ?flipper? or ?stayer? are presented by Jim Collins http://www.jimcollins.com/

Do You Really Need More Time?

?If only I had more time?

Heard your self or others use these words?

Plenty of smart, successful people deal with the issue of time management quite well, and others well I won?t comment.

Some have read the latest time management books. Most use the perfect day-planner or latest hand-held computer. Yet, they still struggle with the ever-shrinking twenty-four hour day.

Even I, on occasion, have suspected some sort of global conspiracy to rob me of my most precious commodity. Does each of us really get only 24 hours in each day? I?m certain some fortunate souls get more. And some, it seems, get far less. Have you ever wondered why?

Having more time.
Is it really as simple as learning a few new skills?
Is it enough to make your daily list, prioritize that list and ensure you mark them off as they?re completed?

I don?t think so.

I propose the root of the problem lies not with a lack of time but with how you experience your life in relation to time.

How is your experience of time different when your day is filled with things you love to do versus filled with things you feel you HAVE to do?

Already, I can hear you passionately interjecting.

?Andrew? be realistic! How can I only do things I love to do? I have to work. There are mouths to feed, tasks to achieve and responsibilities to fulfill. People rely on me.?

I agree, however I challenge you to consider how these strategies might positively shift your thinking about not only managing your time but enjoying it.

You Come First

This strategy applies to everyone. People do rely on you. Which is why it?s so important to take care of you first.
Surely, you?re aware of the golden goose idea. It serves no one to starve the goose.

I saw this quote the other day that is attributed to Oprah. ?If you allow yourself to be depleted to the point where your emotional and spiritual tank is empty and running on fumes of habit, everybody loses. Especially you.?

Our culture teaches otherwise, but the paradox is that you owe it to yourself and those who rely upon you to become more selfish. Yes. Selfish. You can put yourself at the top of your list without being mean or taking away from those who are most important to you.

Just let the idea sink in.

I?ll admit, in practice, it?s not easy initially.
But try it for 30 days.
I can almost assure you your life will look and feel dramatically more fulfilling than it does today.

The Purpose Driven Life

Yes, it?s a recent best-selling book by Rick Warren. But it?s also a strategy many have been using long before the book was published. Your life is always being shaped and driven by something. For most, it?s the past ? beliefs and habits based upon survival and fear.

There?s another option.

You decide what?s going to shape and drive your life.

You choose the vision for what your life is to be about, the values you hold most sacred and the kind of person you are to be. And you allow those three to shape and drive your actions in each moment. Life becomes much more joyful and productive when you can filter out all the things that are not in alignment with your self-defined life purpose.

This concept is also proposed by Stephen Covey of ?The Seven Habits ??

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens

Just Say No

Once you?ve determined what?s important to you and how you want to spend your time you?ll need to protect it. Despite my aforementioned conspiracy theory, the fact is everyone gets the same 24 hours in a day. It?s up to you decide how you?ll invest those hours. And if you can?t say no, you?ll end up doing some things you don?t want to do. Learning to say no creates boundaries that preserve precious time and will serve you and your purpose.

?Be Here Now?

Ram Dass brought this idea to the fore in the early seventies with his book, ?Be Here Now.? As busy humans living in the 21st century, the concept is no less important. We are rapidly becoming ?human doers? as we learn and teach ourselves to be geared and driven to do, do, do.

The solution to the end of the week rundown feeling is to continue doing. Do this ?do that .. I?ve only got two days before I go back to work.

We forget anything about balance in our lives ? them with the most wins.

Remember what it is that you are ? a human being.

Sometimes, and more often than most do ? stop, sit quietly and just be.

How might your experience of time, regardless of what you?re doing, feel different if you were aware, present in the moment and full of a sense of be-ing? In other words, conscious of you ? your essence, your presence.

Get It Off Your Mind And Into A System

If it?s on your mind, it?s draining your energy. Keeping what you have to do on your mind creates mental stress. Think of your brain as the RAM of your computer. There?s only so much it can hold until it crashes. Not only does your brain get clogged with the 100 things you have to do, it can?t differentiate between their importances. Utilize a trustworthy collection system for your priorities, projects and tasks.

There are many time management systems available. Whether it?s a notebook you carry around, a mini tape recorder or a PDA, use a system to keep your brain available for higher functions. It?s important to find one that fits your style and needs. For example, if you are technologically challenged, perhaps a computer-based time management system isn?t the best bet for you.

As another example, if you are not a morning person, it might be more prudent to schedule your most important tasks later in the day, if possible. Think of a time management system as a pair of shoes. Make it fit comfortably and support you as much as possible.

Can you identify which of these foundations would be a good place for you to start? Where do you need the most support?
The result of these perspectives could open a new relationship to time and a more purpose driven life. Why not give it a try?

Mentors of the Mind

You don't have to get in touch with your feelings: You can manage them. And instead of plunging into self-analysis, you can concentrate on innocent-sounding things such as emotional intelligence, better relationship-management skills and a more successful personal style.

What regular guy would consult a therapist when he can have ... a coach?

Though most men are still very reluctant to seek traditional, one-on-one therapy, more and more of them are now consulting professionals who call themselves life or career coaches, psychologists say. Coaching is not the same thing as therapy, experts agree. One is an open-ended exploration of the origins of emotional makeup; the other is usually short-term and focused on achieving concrete goals, often in the context of career.

But the number of experienced therapists who now consult as coaches has at least doubled in recent years, psychologists estimate, and they are exposing more men than ever to the benefits of psychological self-evaluation.

"The very word `coaching' is appealing to people, especially men, and allows them to access basic psychological principles in a way that's socially acceptable," says psychologist Bertram Edelstein, who runs an executive coaching practice, The Edelstein Group, in La Jolla, Calif.

"You begin talking about work, and that's the one place where most men feel competent, or at least comfortable," says Richard Sherman, a psychologist in Los Angeles who does coaching and runs his own clinical practice. "And at some point you begin to ask about work-life balance, and that acts as a bridge into the personal life."

Steve Finden, a 36-year-old insurance executive living near San Diego, began consulting with Edelstein about three years ago as part of a company-sponsored effort to improve teamwork. Finden describes himself back then as "a typical guy, pretty wrapped up in myself and in my work," and hardly the type to seek individual psychotherapy.

After taking a personality test and reviewing reports of how others perceived him, Finden got a lesson in self-awareness, he says. "I thought I was an effective strategic thinker, a good communicator," he says. "It turned out I was about the only one who thought so."

Often enough, Edelstein says, people trace their personal style at work back to their family of origin, and sometimes even back to some defining crisis, such as losing a parent, the illness of a sibling or an alcoholic parent. And when it's effective, says Edelstein, career or life coaching induces changes that usually move from the person's work life into their private life.

"Nine times out of 10 times I hear from the spouse that the side effect from coaching is improved personal relations at home," he says.

Analysts attribute therapists' move into coaching to two phenomena: managed care, which has put a squeeze on longer-term psychotherapy; and the growth of Internet and tech companies in the 1990s, which happened so quickly that employees and managers had to learn social and management skills on the fly. "These are the IT types who are accustomed to working by themselves, alone in a room, and suddenly they're managing 500 people and they know nothing about human dynamics," says Steven Berglas, a psychologist and author who has an executive consulting practice in Los Angeles.

And by and large, these are not men who seek solutions on the couch, despite the popularity of shows such as "The Sopranos," in which mob guy Tony Soprano regularly confers with a therapist. Overall, men account for only about a third of all people seeking some kind of individual psychological attention, psychologists say, which is not much different from a decade ago.

"The problem is that therapy itself is antithetical to everything it is to be a male in this society," says Rob Pasick, a psychologist who teaches in the business school at the University of Michigan. He co-edited a 1990 book called "Men in Therapy" that helped fuel a surge of interest in men's issues. "Asking for help, showing weakness, admitting you have no control, revealing yourself to a stranger ? these just aren't things guys are taught how to do."

Psychotherapists still have some strong reservations about life or career coaching. For one thing, the field has no widely accepted professional standards. The International Coach Federation, a professional organization in Washington, D.C., estimates that more than 10,000 people call themselves coaches, and only about 600 of those have completed the Federation's certification process.

By Benedict Carey
Los Angeles Times

A Son's Comment

??I can remember clearly in my minds eye the many family discussions sitting around the kitchen table, having what I thought was a healthy interaction among myself and my family members. I grew up in a home where if two people weren?t out-yelling the other, then the conversation wasn?t worth talking about. Volume and intensity equated with value of the expressed opinion.

?? My mother was always there in the middle trying to mediate, expressing how unnecessary it was to communicate in such an abrasive manner. This was to no avail. It was always a fight to get a word in edgewise. We were a home filled with strong opinionated minds. At the time, and actually up until my mid-twenties, if someone would have asked me if my family communicated during my childhood years, I would have said emphatically yes!

?? While I was dissatisfied with the outcome of our gatherings?the mood states that would prevail?I was uneducated as to how dysfunctional our level of communication was. I grew up believing that the squeaky wheel gets the attention. Unfortunately, I didn?t have the self-confidence or know-how to out-yell or out-intellectualize?so I repressed it all.

?? Some years later I found myself situated in an environment where there wasn?t a kitchen table forming the hub of our meetings. In its place was a conference room table. The scene was different?the script the same. Here we were, after each having had a multitude of what should have been adult developing experiences, converging once again to interact. This new situation only proved to be a repeat of what once was. The enticement was how the concept was promoted. We were going to reunite, as adults, in order to build something. We failed to take into consideration how we manage ourselves.

?? We have all heard of flashbacks produced through the utilization of drugs or the recurring nightmares experienced by traumatic events. I found myself reliving the past. Initially I felt as if I regressed, still ill equipped to hold my own in the loud and unproductive shouting matches that ensued. Gradually, I came to shout with the rest. I thought this was empowerment, by learning how to hold my own. I found I was no more encouraged, and in fact greatly discouraged. How did I fool myself into believing that our interactions would be different by taking on the role of business partners? I thought time was the needed factor for the development of a mature and healthy relationship. I became artful at self-deception! None of us had walked the necessary walk into emotional maturity. Maturity proved to be a required ingredient for operating a professional environment.

?? It became quite evident that although years had passed, elements of our personalities had stood still?awaiting this moment to re-emerge and continue where we had left off. I had deceived myself into thinking I had developed not only educationally but also emotionally, during our years of separation; and yet, on the most basic level, growth had not occurred at all. Our underdeveloped methods of communicating were ever present. Interrupting one another without listening to the message of the sender, undermining each other, yelling, swearing?we had mastered them all.

?? In the past, this diminished quality of interaction might have knowingly been unproductive, but it did not appear to directly impact the cohesiveness of the family unit. Now when the same tactics were in evidence within the work environment it had quite a debilitating effect. Had I had prior knowledge of the aftereffects of this foundation, we as a family had laid, I may had made other career choices. I cannot place blame throughout and not take into account the role I played. I contributed to the dysfunction as well. The consequence of which left us adrift for years, emotionally and professionally divided. Our careless disregard for what we were doing caused the downfall of our company.

?? Our family business lifestyle was the opportunity to build upon our pre-existing relationships with one another. We could have prospered, not just financially but in emotional maturity. We were cashing in on the money and all came crashing in when it came to standing united. The road I?ve traveled since that time has been unsettling at times and exhilarating at others. I have since surpassed my own professional goals by being on my own. As a family, in spite of amends having been made, we forfeited that period in time when we could have labored over collectively being enriched as a family. That time is past and the opportunity to be together, as adults, day-in and day-out is behind us. What is done can not be undone. We deluded ourselves into thinking there would always be time for catch up. We were wrong.

?? We had a dream. The reality turned out to be quite different. In the end, all we were left with were lessons to be learned. Those lessons are ongoing.??

Emailed to me by Bill (Edinburgh, Scotland) Author unknown.

Suppose someone gave you a pen?

You couldn?t see how much ink it had. It might run dry after the first few tentative words or last just long enough to create a masterpiece that would last forever and make a difference. You dont know before you begin.

You have to take a chance! Actually, you dont have to do anything. Instead of picking up and using the pen, you could leave it on a shelf or in a drawer where it will dry up, unused.

But if you do decide to use it, what would you do with it? Would you plan and plan before you ever wrote a word? Would your plans be so extensive that you never even got to the writing?

Or would you take the pen in hand, plunge right in and just do it, struggling to keep up with the twists and turns of the torrents of words that take you where they take you?

Would you write cautiously and carefully, as if the pen might run dry the next moment, or would you pretend or believe (or pretend to believe) that the pen will write forever and proceed accordingly?

Would you write to please just yourself? Or others? Or yourself by writing for others? Would your strokes be tremblingly timid or brilliantly bold? Fancy with a flourish or plain?

Would you even write? Once you have the pen, no rule says you have to write. Would you sketch? Scribble? Doodle or draw? Would you stay in or on the lines, or see no lines at all, even if they were there? Or are they?

Now, suppose someone gave you a life?

Alanne Whitaker